Article by Arnaud Wafeu
When the sexual breakdown is temporary:
The majority of couples experience, at one moment or another, an empty period in their sexual life. It can be due to a difficult event (disease, depression, job losses) or to circumstances which leave little place to the romantic life (birth of the children, work overload, not letting go of concerns/worries). In any case, the result is often the same: the two partners forget themselves and the desire is suddenly lacking in bedroom. Once the honeymoon in the beginnings has passed, when it becomes less imperative to devour each other on every occasion, it is life, all stupidly, which takes over. And every day with its share of responsibilities, can take all the place, thereby leaving sexuality in mid-air. When one is taken too much by the day-to-day routine, there are indeed strong chances that one invests oneself less in one's couple. And by not attaching importance to the couple, by not giving oneself moments of intimacy - good time for the two to go to the restaurant, for example - one looses the occasion to come closer to each other and nourish our sexual desire.
Temporary breakdowns of desire happen, and it should not be deducted from it that our couple is in danger. When a couple has less sexual relationships, that does not forcibly mean that there is no more love. It is completely normal to see its libido fluctuating: one cannot always have the desire of the first years, it is not realistic. With time, the love is rooted, becomes deeper. So, if it were just a matter of sex, the rate of divorce would be of 95% instead of 50%! It is the intimacy which makes a couple last, not sexuality. It is rare that a couple is always on the same tone on the bed, except at the beginning of the relation.
Sexuality: much more than sex!
Mind you, however, that the situation does not become problematic when it lasts. The risk,if one gets stuck for too long in this kind of situation, is tha t it makes us avoid being closer, in order not to stir the desire of our partner each time there are moments of tenderness, huggings or kisses. Not that sex does not interest us any more, but the distance manifests itself in an embarrassment to come together: one becomes clumsy, not at ease in moments of intimacy and one pushes those moments back, out of the fear of no longer being up to it or even no longer knowing much how to go about it! To avoid this trap, it is good to remember that sexuality is much more than the sexual intercourse. Sexuality also includes affection, tenderness, the caresses. Therefore, a couple who does not make love is not necessarily unhappy or dissatisfied, because there are several ways to show that one loves his/her partner. It is necessary to look at the whole of the behaviors and the affection which is born from the intimacy, because it is more important than plain sex. Moreover, if that was just about sex, we all would have problems, because o ne day or the other, one undergoes periods of dryness!
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