All this advice about avoiding scams and predators when dating can leave you bewildered, and afraid to try it. Well, I am hear to remind you not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Its not all bad. Meeting people is not that hard and its not that scary.
So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.
1. Before you start dating online, there are 2 things you need to think about. Firstly, think about the qualities you are looking for in your partner. Secondly, think about the experience you are looking for. When reflecting on these two things, try to do it on your own, without accepting advice from anyone.
You will get a lot of advice from people when you start to go down this route. IGNORE them. They have all kinds of different and irrelevant motivations for giving you their advice. You are the only one who knows what is right for you right now though.
Trust your own judgement and enjoy the results of your own decisions. Every date will not work out perfectly and we all have relationships which fail. But this is a good thing. It helps you understand yourself, learn what you need in life and recognise it when it arrives. Much better you learn these lessons for you rather than learn someone else's lessons.
Tip 2. Having noted the type of person and experience you want, only go to dating sites which cater for those specifics. Ignore the general dating sites that attract every man and his dog, only join niche ones which attract the people you are looking for. That is, use the dating site itself to qualify your potential dates.
General dating sites can be very hit and miss. You may end up spending all your time filtering through inappropriate emails and therefore have none left to date the people you like. So just use the niche sites. Some examples include: Asian dating sites, if eastern culture is important to you. Religious dating sites (Ie. Christian or Jewish) if morality in a partner is important. Adult dating sites if you are looking for a fun time, as opposed to a long time. There are all manner of niche sites, you'll be amazed at their variety.
Tip 3. Put safety first in all cases. Remember you do not know a person until you've spent time getting to know them. Email/Chat/Webcam just doe not cut it. When you meet someone for the first time, treat it like a blind date. Ie. Do it in a public place and have friends ready to "rescue" you.
Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.
Once you meet someone who has passed all your "online tests", have some fun with them and get to know them. Remember though, you are only starting to get to know them now. You can never really get to know someone online, so continue to apply common sense in the early stages of the relationship.
I hope that helps. Keep it simple, have fun and by following your instincts, have a safe dating experience to success.
So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.
1. Before you start dating online, there are 2 things you need to think about. Firstly, think about the qualities you are looking for in your partner. Secondly, think about the experience you are looking for. When reflecting on these two things, try to do it on your own, without accepting advice from anyone.
You will get a lot of advice from people when you start to go down this route. IGNORE them. They have all kinds of different and irrelevant motivations for giving you their advice. You are the only one who knows what is right for you right now though.
Trust your own judgement and enjoy the results of your own decisions. Every date will not work out perfectly and we all have relationships which fail. But this is a good thing. It helps you understand yourself, learn what you need in life and recognise it when it arrives. Much better you learn these lessons for you rather than learn someone else's lessons.
Tip 2. Having noted the type of person and experience you want, only go to dating sites which cater for those specifics. Ignore the general dating sites that attract every man and his dog, only join niche ones which attract the people you are looking for. That is, use the dating site itself to qualify your potential dates.
General dating sites can be very hit and miss. You may end up spending all your time filtering through inappropriate emails and therefore have none left to date the people you like. So just use the niche sites. Some examples include: Asian dating sites, if eastern culture is important to you. Religious dating sites (Ie. Christian or Jewish) if morality in a partner is important. Adult dating sites if you are looking for a fun time, as opposed to a long time. There are all manner of niche sites, you'll be amazed at their variety.
Tip 3. Put safety first in all cases. Remember you do not know a person until you've spent time getting to know them. Email/Chat/Webcam just doe not cut it. When you meet someone for the first time, treat it like a blind date. Ie. Do it in a public place and have friends ready to "rescue" you.
Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.
Once you meet someone who has passed all your "online tests", have some fun with them and get to know them. Remember though, you are only starting to get to know them now. You can never really get to know someone online, so continue to apply common sense in the early stages of the relationship.
I hope that helps. Keep it simple, have fun and by following your instincts, have a safe dating experience to success.
About the Author:
Jayde Johanssen has helped many find love, by giving quality dating advice and giving dating site reviews.. This article, Online Dating - Don't Forget, Its Supposed To Be Fun is released under a creative commons attribution license.
